Log

[lolotehe]

Jul 11 2003 13:14:00
Asmoduce: must spend time this weekend, talking over thibnsg with Lolotehe,,, it will either go "well", or, very not well...
Anyla: yea, i know but either way afterwards you should go
Asmoduce: yeah, prolly will
Asmoduce: course, I may come home to an "empty" apartment...
Anyla: ...brb hon
Asmoduce: kay
Anyla: bak
Anyla: get the feeling you dont wanna talk about it so...talk to me about something else
Asmoduce: well, just kinda out of it right now...
Asmoduce: feeling very, "distanced" right now, while beeing frighteningly horny at the same time...
Asmoduce: I am confused to say the least
Anyla: *hugs* yea
Asmoduce: weird, huh?
Anyla: not really
Asmoduce: feels weird to me
Anyla: well yea it feels weird but it isnt, at least i dont think, the distance...most likely trying to brace for hurt and horny, well...you need to feel alive
Asmoduce: good points...
Anyla: they work for ya?
Asmoduce: yup
Anyla: good...drawing on my experenice iw as hoping it would
Asmoduce: heh
Asmoduce: well, I don't wanna mke things "worse", but, part of me wants this to just be "over", if this is gonna be a re occuring theme for her and I...
Anyla: *nod* i can't blame ya hon. i prolly woulda forced an issue long before this
Asmoduce: forced an issue???
Anyla: i woulda made something happen, good or bad to get it over with
Asmoduce: well, i thought things were getting better... i thought I had done that...
Asmoduce: all I really did, a year ago, was, set things in motion for her to have now reason not to dump me at the first available...
Asmoduce: no
Asmoduce: that isn't what it is at all
Asmoduce: sorry
Asmoduce: I just feel
Asmoduce: hell, I don't know right now
Anyla: anything i can do?
Asmoduce: I don't know yet...
Asmoduce: hell, i have no idea, to be honest
Asmoduce: that is why Ehsteve is comming over...
Anyla: yea
Asmoduce: so, we will see
Anyla: sorry...just feel bad cause i am not doing much of anything to help
Asmoduce: I might take Gadik up on his offer of crash space
Anyla: ?
Anyla: i dont understand hon
Asmoduce: I might just walk out of here, no matter what...