lolotehe

mistressofmuses

The final part of the garden pictures from last week. Finally!

Bee!

Dogwood.

In the plains garden:

Nice vibrant paintbrush.

Sixteen more pictures

Prickly pear.

Intensely blue larkspur.

Flax.

And then to the little river area that borders the plains on one side and the montane gardens on the other:

Which really just means more koi. :)

I love the classic tri-color ones.

Alex named this one "Patches."

Patches wants food. :o :O :o

I am always delighted to see this one! A really unique gold color, and the fanciest fins!

Another very striking one is this silver one. So getting the silver one and the gold one next to each other (plus a nicely classic orange one) seems like it should be good luck, haha.

Then we headed back through the montane gardens toward the alpine and rock gardens:

Solomon's seal. (Had to look this one up!)

A lovely mix of flowers!

Over by the orangery, and the other semi-indoor and greenhouses:

It was slooooowly closing up on its snack.

I do always love the carnivorous plants. :)

Then inside, to the pavilion where they have most of the orchids.

The dangling petals are so loooooong!

I was apparently quite taken with that feature.

Then a quick walk through the conservatory. I would have stayed longer, but I think Taylor was getting quite tired.

A hibiscus so perfect it looked fake.

Also had to look this one up: Rangoon creeper, apparently.

Current Mood: sick
Current Location: my apartment
Current Music: Chrome - VNV Nation

mistressofmuses

Last Friday was the other concert that we went to go see:

Aesthetic Perfection, doing an old-school set, plus genCAB and Whorticulture opening.

This one was cutting it a little closer to get there, since I wasn't able to leave work at all early, but luckily the class we were closing at work didn't keep me longer than usual, either. I was able to wear most of what I was going to wear to work, and change what little I needed to on the drive there, haha.

We actually wound up being down there earlier than needed, and had to circle like vultures for about fifteen minutes until one of the driving lanes turned into a parking lane at 7:00. As usual we car-bar/pre-gamed for a bit, then headed to the venue.

We weren't late this time, so we got to see our first opener, Whorticulture.

Whorticulture is a local band, and they've hit at least a little bit of success! We last saw them opening for Solar Fake (last year? the year before?). They got to play Dark Force Fest last month, which was pretty cool.

I've been impressed every time I've seen them, and even having only ever seen them live as an opening band, their songs have been memorable enough that I recognize them every time.

I always figure "hey, I should buy a CD!" and then don't have merch money, so this time was going to be the time! ...They do not have CDs at their merch table. I poked around on Bandcamp and discovered that this is because they do not have any albums... just nine singles released over the course of the last six years, haha. So I did buy their various singles, haha.

Their set was great, as they have been every time I've seen them, and even only getting to play four songs.

Three more Whorticulture pics + a music video embed

"Okay, hold on a minute. Time for an on-purpose wardrobe malfunction!"

Watch on YouTube

Here's their song from last year, "Faust," which I quite like. The video is them being dramatically gothy in the Molly Brown House Museum, which is fun, too.

After that was genCAB. They were supposed to open the last time Aesthetic Perfection came, but had to cancel because the singer had Covid.

Unfortunately I found them solidly... meh. They weren't terrible, but I found myself getting a little bored. I couldn't understand more than a handful of words out of each song (just kind of nondescriptly loud and yell-y.) The singer also seemed... shy? Like he didn't want to look at the audience, ha. He's the synth player for Aesthetic Perfection while they're touring, so I feel like he's had a good tutor in stage presence, but... I mean, I'd be petrified and hate being on stage, so. Glad to have gotten to see them, but not someone I'd seek out to see again/look for as a headliner.

Three more of genCAB

Not really a "good" picture, but I liked the dramatic silhouettes.

And then, Aesthetic Perfection!

This is by far the best picture I got for the night, ha.

It was exciting to see him back, since he swore that the last tour would be the last one in the US ever. (He doesn't live in the US anymore, and he's always very open about the business side of being an artist. Basically it's just prohibitively expensive to tour, in a way that doesn't work out as a financial decision. He's said he'd be willing to tour as a supporting act, and I think he did so last year, but I wasn't interested in the artist he was supporting.)
I think the old-school thing was really meant to be just a single special show, and then expanded to a very small tour, and it was exciting for Denver to have a date added. It's very possible that this one is in fact the last tour, so I'm glad we got to go. (Or maybe there'll be another in a year or two!)

I'm actually less a fan of his older stuff than I am his like... middle stuff. I'm a 'Til Death fan, sorry. Even so, his older stuff has grown on me quite a bit.

He opened with "The Great Depression," which was a good starting song. Having the first words of a set be "Hey you motherfucking son of a bitch!" is pretty good, lol.

Got a lot of other faves from A Violent Emotion (and I'll be honest, while I knew most of the other songs, I don't have the albums they're on. I'll have to get them from Alex, as I'm sure he does, ha.) I was glad we got "Pale," which is one of my favorites from that album, as well as "The Siren" and "Living the Wasted Life."

The final encore song was "Spit It Out," which is a great energetic song to end on. I'm pretty sure that was the song he opened with at the first AP show we saw, way back at Castlemans (RIP a great venue.) The energy of the crowd screaming along with "Spit it out scream, spit it out scream!" does make it a great one to hear live.

Could have done without a small cohort of girls who came in about halfway through the set and pretty viciously shoved their way in front of me, but ah well.

Five more pictures

Bought Alex an Aesthetic Perfection shirt (since the last one he tried to get, he wound up with the wrong one and didn't realize until later. The cut of the one he got didn't work for him, so I wound up with it.)
I bought a Whorticulture shirt, since there's not an album to buy, haha. (Forever sad to have missed out on their "Goth as Fuck" shirts, which were styled to look like the "Queer as Folk" logo.)

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: my apartment
Current Music: The Price of Fame - Whorticulture ft. Solar Fake

mistressofmuses

(Trying to keep going with the things I planned to.)

Part three of the pictures from the Botanic Gardens last Tuesday. Last Tuesday was better than this week's.

Tiny ducklings are so damn cute.

These were very striking, with the contrast between the upper and lower petals, plus the bright orange pollen!

I remembered these irises from last year. They're so vibrant!

Fourteen more pictures:

We took a break and headed to the Garden's restaurant, "The Hive." Their food is quite good, so it's always nice to get to go there. Mildly spendy, but well worth it for what you get. Their sweet potato fries are the best.

On the path up to the restaurant: mother duck in the middle of her little island, ducklings scattered around the edges. (Though she was not a fan of other ducklings; there was a second cohort of ducklings that were unattended by their parent, and she was pretty vicious about chasing them away.)

A towhee hanging out at one of the tables.

The ducklings came through on a scavenging sweep. They had no qualms about running under our feet.

It started raining a bit, but while it looked like it might last a while, it actually broke up quite quickly.

After lunch, it was on to the iris garden:

Happy Pride from these Persian jewels. :)

Ruffly! These ones smelled very sweet, if I remember.

This was one of my favorites. I love the stripes!

Another that was just a very different color from the rest.

Over by the cuttings garden:

A very striking two-toned lupine!

Ma'am! Attend to your children!! (I'm fairly sure this was the deadbeat neglecting her duckling children, who were frantically swimming around and peeping. Alex was distressed that they were distressed, but she seemed to be heading back in their direction.)

And in the Victorian garden:

I liked the caged succulents!

I love ferns, plus bonus columbines.

Then over to the Shofu-En Japanese garden.

(The informative sign reads: "A Lantern For Peace: This 250-year-old stone lantern was donated in 1964 by Denver's sister city, Takayama, Japan. The Sister Cities program and "friendship gardens" across the United States are symbols of cooperation and cultural exchange.")

And of course, my much-loved koi.

More koi!

Just one more gardens picture post to go.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: my apartment
Current Music: Big Bad Wolf - Aesthetic Perfection

mistressofmuses

For the start of Pride month, a sticker from NerdyKeppie's "Proud to the Bone 2" pin collection.

And my tiny printout of the show flyer, since we don't get hard copy tickets anymore.

(It's a bit hard to write this from the perspective of it being the week Before, but I'm trying.)

This was a fairly busy week! It was a good week, and I made it through the first big rush of busy, but still feel like I have a lot to catch up on. FastCAT, the gardens, and the concert were all really good. Work was average to fine. I do hope to do more reading and writing next week, since it feels like that's where progress is most stagnant.

Goals for the week:

I did post my book reviews for May
I started, but didn't finish, catching up on DW
I watered my plants
I read more of Maeve Fly
I did my getyourwordsout check-in: 1666 words written in May, bringing the ytd total to 58483
We went to the Botanic Gardens with my mom and Taylor
We did Bella's FastCAT
I talked to mom and saw her briefly on her birthday
We went to the Aesthetic Perfection show
I wrote up and posted my June writing goals
I printed off some short stories for my mom
I put my laundry away
I still haven't cancelled the dentist appointment
I still didn't make it to the bank
I still didn't finish part 3 of the snowflake outline
Alex did get rent paid

Tracked habits:

Work - 5/7
Household Maintenance - 3/7
Physical Activity - 3/7
Wrote 500/1000+ Words - 2/7 - one day of over 1000, one day of over 500
Wrote on 2nd+ Draft - 0/7
Meta Work - 5/7
Personal Writing - 5/7
Other Creative Things - 3/7
Reading - 6/7 - mostly I started reading Maeve Fly, and read some Duma Key with Alex
Attention to Media - 7/7 - Sunday I had some youtube in the background at work; Monday half-watched some exploration videos; Tuesday had storm chasing and abandoned place videos in the background; Wednesday was more storm chasing in the background; Thursday we watched some storm chasing (they found an impressive tornado!) and I listened to music (mostly Aesthetic Perfection in preparation for the show on Friday); Friday we went to the concert; Saturday listened to music (mostly Whorticulture, Solar Fake, and Aesthetic Perfection.)
Video Games - 0/7
Social Interaction - 5/7

Total words written: 4712 on my book reviews and writing plans

I am still very sad, and I'm trying to strike the balance between "being gentle with myself" and "wallowing."

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: my apartment
Current Music: Standing - VNV Nation

mistressofmuses

Tiny, silly thing that made me smile at least a bit today:

I have a notebook I bought for myself about 13 or 14 months ago. It's my current "writing notebook" that I take with me in my bag so I can jot things down at any time, with no excuse not to write an idea down. I mostly use it at work. (In actual usage it's more of a journal/to-do list/planning notebook, but at least with a bit of a writing bent.) It's got flowers and mushrooms and bugs on it. It's very cute, colorful, and kind of 'cottagecore', I guess. I bought it because I liked it!

At Christmas, Alex bought me the exact same notebook, because "it looked like something you would like!" ...The same one I'd been carrying around for seven months or so at that point, haha. (To be clear, I was happy with it, because it absolutely *is* something I would like! And now I have a spare!)

Today I got to work, and my manager had bought me... The exact same notebook. I had needed a new one for my work stuff, but figured I'd just get a plain one. She bought it because she knew I liked that size, and it was a cute cover that looked like I'd like it. (She has seen that notebook on my desk at work for over a year.)

Help, I'm predictable. But also it's very funny that I can carry something with me daily, and the people most likely to see it don't remember that... But see it and apparently think of me.

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: at work

davemerrill

Well, Anime North happened and it was kinda fun! The weather was cold and blustery, with a little rain every single day, but the fans seemed happy and the show was crowded. My events went well, the room party was not super crowded but floor-sitting crowded, lots of people who didn't previously know each other getting to know each other, eating junk food, listening to vintage anime music from vintage cassette tapes played on a vintage boom box that only ate one tape.

I bought two manga from The Beguiling's table, that's all I bought, everything else in the vendors hall was t-shirts and funko pops and magic cards and swords and dice. No thank yous

I got two fillings, they gave me a mouth guard for my sleep grinding, I have one more doctor's appointment next week and then I might be done with the doctor for a while, I hope.

Weather has finally gotten close to where it should be this time of year, though still on the colder side. We saw FRIENDSHIP in the theater which is an extended I Think You Should Leave sketch, in a good way, never wears out its welcome. We also saw SINNERS and that's about the best film I'm likely to see this year; fun, angry, joyful, super horny, and you'll wait a while for the automatic weapons to show up but it's great when they do.

Now that the anime con is out of the way I'm spending more time getting my next comic finished and the goal is to have it debut at GRAFFICKER ALLEY, the manga/comics/zine festival happening September 6, save the date.

mistressofmuses

Back in 2011, Alex decided he wanted a dog. He knew he wanted a pit bull, and he knew he wanted to adopt one. We went to the shelter, and he absolutely fell in love with a sweet little pittie... a girl named "Joy." By the time we were able to get the house ready, and set up a chance to meet and greet with my dad's dog who lived with us at the time, Joy had been adopted, and Alex was very sad about it. I remember thinking at the time, though I don't know if I actually said it, "Don't worry; we will find you another dog, and in the end you won't be able to imagine having had a different one."

We went back to the shelter to look at another young, female pit, but during the meeting with my dad's dog she was just a little overly hyperactive for him.

Not quite grudgingly, Alex asked to meet "Montana," a little brown, black, and white male pit bull. He was a cute dog, but not very personable. He stayed in the back of his kennel, not very interested in interacting. We'd completely overlooked him on our first visit, and his informational page said he'd been there for eight months. But the meeting with my dad's dog went well, and he was sweet when we did get his attention, so we took him.

It took us a little while to come up with a name, but we decided on "Cyanide," since he needed a dangerous name, as a pit bull! The shelter said he was two, but considering how much he grew after we had him, we think he was closer to one. (Though considering he'd been there for a while, it probably was closer to one and a half.) We picked New Year's Day as his birthday, since it was as good a day as any.

Cy was one of the sweetest, smartest dogs I've ever known. He really was wicked smart, and it's lucky that he chose to use that genius for non-evil purposes. He was extraordinarily sweet, and one of the most patient dogs in the world. He would tolerate just about anything, even when he didn't need to put up with it. He loved people.

The only thing he didn't like: raccoons.

He had the strongest paternal instinct I've ever seen in a dog, too (though as far as I know, he never fathered any puppies). He adored little baby animals. He was more annoyed by puppies once they got to the exuberant, mostly coordinated stage, but when they were little? He would just melt for them.
At the dog park once, he played tug-of-war with a tiny, floppy little mastiff puppy. He let her lead him around by that rope, just barely sometimes tugging on it, basically letting her win the whole time.
By coincidence we ran into one of my coworkers and his husband at the park once, with their brand new tiny terrier puppy. Cy let that little five pound ball of fluff jump up on him, and then he'd dramatically fall over and roll onto his back, like the tiny puppy had obviously vanquished him.
He adored kittens, too; when we were staying with some friends, they had some orphaned foster kittens who were still being bottle-fed. We let Cy meet them, and he was utterly smitten. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle and nuzzle and groom them. (Probably only partially because they were messy eaters that had cat food on them, haha.) For years after, up until he went deaf, if he heard a kitten mew on a video or something, he would excitedly try to find the kitten.

Cy with Sherlock, our friend's cat. This was one of "his" kittens, though grown up in this picture. (Our friend says she credits Cy with how much Sherlock grew up to like dogs.)

A picture Alex took, Cy at the Chesapeake Bay.

He was a great hiking buddy. This is him at Mt. Falcon.

I wanted to pick out my favorite pictures of Cy, but trick question, because they're all my favorites, so I'm still posting too many.

25 more pictures of my best boy.

He used to have so little white on his face!

Alex and Cy. Just like I thought: couldn't imagine ending up with a different dog.

Me with Cy. We were watching fireworks. He was the mellowest dog; truly nothing scared or bothered him (except being left alone for too long.)

At the dog park, eyes on the tennis ball.

He was always the most majestic sleeper.

On a "cliff edge" at Red Rocks.

Bane of baseballs everywhere!

He used to be so spry! Excited for Alex to chuck the tennis ball already.

Hot dog in the sun at a friend's farm out in Maryland.

Champion slorper.

Helping me carve a jack-o-lantern. <3

His silly hat with reindeer antlers and ear warmers. (It brought joy to the masses, judging by how people in neighboring cars reacted when he'd wear it, haha.)

He loved his naps, and he loved napping on plushies.

My best boy.

Cy in his Pride hat, at fourth of July. Again, bringing joy to the masses. We had so many people stop and smile and comment about the dog in the hat.

His dragon Halloween costume.

Reindeer-on-reindeer violence!

Looking like a model advertising the treats in the background.

His nose. <3

In front of the flowers at the park last year.

Alex took this picture, of both the dogs at fourth of July last year.

Not a great pic, but I think you can tell that this is a cool dog with cool places to be and cool things to do.

He loved blankets so much. All you had to do was hold a blanket up and he would dart over to be under it. He wanted to be tucked in before going to sleep at night.

Fairly recent, I know I shared it already, but it was sweet when the dogs would actually cuddle together.

Cuddling his dragon toy. <3

Today, talk of end of life:

Overnight, around 1:45 in the morning, Cy got up from his bed and was very suddenly extremely agitated. He was making terrible scream-bark-howl sounds, and frantically running around the apartment. It was very scary, and we took him to the emergency vet. They did an exam, and then gave him a sedative that would also help with pain. The best hope was that this was basically "doggie dementia," and that getting some rest would lead to him waking up feeling better, and then we could look at treating the anxiety if it remained.

We took him home around 4:00, but even with their sedative and his usual pain meds, I don't think he ever fell asleep. The physical agitation stopped, and he was laying in his bed, but he was awake and still whining with almost every exhale.

Around 8:00 he started moving around more, though the agitation wasn't where it had been in the middle of the night. We took him outside, which initially seemed fine... then a few minutes later, still outside, he started with the horrible screaming again. Our regular vet wasn't open yet, so we went back to the emergency vet.

They did blood and urine tests, wanting to rule out anything they could: infection, organ failure, drugs or other toxins. Unfortunately in this case, the tests came back normal. His kidney levels were slightly elevated, same as his annual exam had showed, but everything else was normal. (My last, quiet hope had been a UTI/kidney infection; I know that can cause neurological symptoms if it's advanced enough, and as bad as that would be when his kidneys were already bad, it would be something we could try and treat.) The emergency vet said that in absence of any physical cause that it was probably neurological, with the most likely causes being a brain tumor or possibly a blood clot. She recommended we look at this as a quality of life question.

His obvious distress meant it wasn't fair to him to drag things out. I called our regular vet, and she was able to get us an end of life appointment at noon, just about an hour after we were leaving the emergency vet. (We could have done it there, but our vet has been our vet since I was a child; for thirty years she's been the one to help our pets pass when it's time, and I'd rather have had him go there. I suspect she was offering to do this at what should have been her lunch break; she said they were basically double-booked for the whole day. They'd offered us a 5:00 appointment, but that seemed like too long to wait, when he would spend those hours upset.)

We went and got a pup cup from Starbucks. The vet gave us some time with him both before and after. He passed very quickly and quietly.

This was something we knew was coming, though we didn't expect something like this to force it. We thought it would be the end last March when we took him to the emergency vet the first time, the day he suddenly couldn't walk. We were hoping at that point for a couple more months, maybe making it into summer... and he was doing well. Then he had a repeat flare of the back problems on Halloween, and then again the day before Thanksgiving, and two bouts within a month seemed like that was the end; we doubted he'd make it to Christmas. And then he made it to New Year's, and another unofficial birthday. And then we made it past our birthdays, and then a year past his scare, and then long enough for him to get another annual exam... Lots of tiny little milestones, but ones we didn't think he'd reach. It's felt like more than a year of borrowed time, and it's time I'm glad we got with him.

I'm painfully glad this didn't happen a week from now, when I'll be out of state for my grandmother's memorial.

I've been a weepy, sobbing mess all day, and I feel like I'll remain a weepy sobbing mess for a while.

Cy was truly my Best Boy Ever. While he was Alex's dog, always first and foremost, he was also my dog, the first one I was ever primarily responsible for. We had him for fourteen years of his life, whether that life was fifteen or closer to sixteen years. It wasn't long enough. I would have wanted fourteen more years with him, and it still wouldn't have felt long enough.

I already miss him so much.

Current Mood: heartbroken
Current Location: my apartment

mistressofmuses

Continuing with the trip through the Denver Botanic Gardens from last week!

A very nice clematis, hiding away a bit.

A Persian jewel, extra bejeweled by the rain.

Another really nice columbine. This color makes me think of strawberry lemonade.

Fourteen more pictures:

We headed up the paths behind the Ellipse, toward the "romance gardens" and the "fragrance gardens."

A more classic, blue and white Colorado columbine.

I believe this is elderflower.

Spiderwort.

Looking back towards the Ellipse and the house, with the irises, roses, pines...

The picture does not quite do justice to just how big this iris was. It was huge, and smelled wonderful.

These poppies were really neat, with the sort of ruffled edges.

Itty bitty tadpoles! I think these are toad tadpoles.

Happy Pride from these larkspurs!

More irises with water droplets!

A ladybug larva! They look like little gila monsters.

Over in the "woodland mosaic":

Young squirrel.

Extra spotty ladybug!

And then in "June's PlantAsia":

I love this art piece.

A very pretty fern. :)

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: my apartment

disgruntledgirl

This post is making the rounds on FaceBook and it deserves to be read by all. Regretfully, I cannot find the actual writer's name - they are merely known under the handle Silver Screen Hub.

Posted June 5th, 2025
For anyone who’s ever complained that *Star Trek: The Original Series* wasn’t bold enough, let me direct your gaze to “The Mark of Gideon,” which aired in 1969, smack in the middle of the show's weird and often audacious third season. On the surface, it looks like your standard Kirk-gets-kidnapped-and-flirts-with-an-alien story. But under that misleadingly stilted opening is a searing ethical critique dressed in the snug jumpsuit of sci-fi allegory, dealing with bodily autonomy, reproductive rights, and the weaponization of innocence. And oh boy, does it get *uncomfortably* relevant fast.

So let’s break this madness down. Kirk beams aboard what he *thinks* is the Enterprise, except it's deserted. Eerily silent. Not even a redshirt to trip over. Pretty soon, he finds Odona, a wide-eyed, dreamy brunette who has all the hallmarks of a Starfleet crush-of-the-week. But then she starts collapsing, spiraling into vague poetic dread, and we realize something fishy is going on—and it’s not just the wonky lighting. Turns out, surprise: it’s not the Enterprise. It’s a *life-sized replica* of the Enterprise built on a planet so overcrowded that people can't sneeze without giving someone else the flu. The planet is Gideon, and their idea of solving overpopulation is less about infrastructure and more about…biological warfare.

Here’s the kicker: their big idea is to abduct Kirk because he's carrying a disease (Vegan choriomeningitis—yes, it *does* sound like something you’d get from a trendy green smoothie) and use him to infect their population, thus gently trimming the numbers through viral attrition. You know, *euthanasia, the fun way.* Odona, being the ultimate idealistic daughter of this plan, volunteers to be Patient Zero—with full knowledge she might die in the process. But, don’t worry, she’s oddly giddy about it. Like she’s got a crush on death and it’s texting her back.

And here's where the episode takes a giant swing into *sharp, topical social commentary*. Kirk—grappling with the absurd logic of a society that won’t use birth control but is totally down with voluntary genocide—confronts Odona’s father, Hodin. The man, with the serene smugness of every dystopian leader ever, insists that life is so sacred, they can't possibly interfere with its creation. “We love life too much,” he says, while actively plotting mass death. Kirk, being Kirk, cuts through this with one of the most devastating mic drops in Trek history: “Yet you can kill a young girl.” Boom. Shatner might ham it up from time to time, but when he hits, *he hits.* And in that moment, he’s not just Captain Kirk—he’s the mouthpiece for every viewer watching in horrified disbelief.
(My favorite part, so I'll bold it here)
Let’s be clear: this episode’s critique of “pro-life” absolutism is *light-years* ahead of its time. This is 1969. America was still wrestling with The Pill, Roe v. Wade hadn’t happened, and here comes Gene Roddenberry’s crew tackling the moral schizophrenia of a culture that exalts life while systematically denying people the tools to manage it responsibly. You can practically hear the network execs sweating through their suits.

And yet, for all its high-concept guts, the episode gets downright surreal if you think too hard about it. For instance—where exactly did they find the *space* on an overpopulated planet to construct an entire fake Enterprise? Did they evict a few thousand people to make room? How did they keep it secret? Also, how are these people still reproducing? Did everyone suddenly become contortionists? The answer: don’t ask. Just go with it. Suspension of disbelief is the fare you pay for this bus ride through existential dread.
Odona, by the end, doesn’t die. Kirk beams out with her, alive but emotionally scuffed, while the Federation likely files a strongly-worded memo. It’s a haunting episode, not because of any monster or phaser battle, but because it dares to ask a question so few stories ever touch, even today: what happens when the sanctity of life becomes an excuse to abandon reason, compassion, and common sense?

This is *Star Trek* at its best—masking razor-sharp commentary behind technicolor sets and latex foreheads. It may not be the most polished episode, but it’s one of the most daring. And in that final Kirk glare—equal parts horror, rage, and sorrow—you can feel the weight of a future that’s still figuring out how to balance the right to live with the right to choose.

mistressofmuses

It's another month! A whole week into another month, actually!

This year has been pretty much a wasteland in terms of writing. Fiction writing, at least. I've gotten some wordcount on non-fiction writing, like reviewing books I've read, or the reflections on last year and goals for this one. Not so much success on the fiction front.

May did not reverse this trend, haha.

My goals for May were:
- push through on the current original WIP
- consider what I wanted to do with the Cyberpunk AU
- look into the snowflake outlining method again, and maybe start using it for the "Worldhopping Fairytale Monstrosity" fic

And how did I do?
- I did not work on the WIP.
- I think the Cyberpunk AU is getting shelved for a while. I still want to write it, but just don't feel any real strong desire to work on it right now. I think it's getting put back into the nebulous "someday..." pile.
- I did look at snowflake outlining again.
- I even started the Worldhopping Fairytale Monstrosity outline with it, though I only got through the first two steps, plus two thirds of the third.

So now...

Goals for June:
- I want to try and finish just one more chapter of the current original WIP
(I want to see if this reignites any enthusiasm for the project at the moment)
- I want to outline (or even just jump into) the second iddy story
(This is the story that I catch myself currently daydreaming about at times, and I sort of want to ride the inspiration high for a change!)
- I want to work on the snowflake outline for the Worldhopping Fairytale Monstrosity
(This is that endlessly enormous project that's had more than two decades of on and off thought about it, which is excruciating to even consider, and I want to just WORK ON IT.)
- I might start thinking about the stupid holiday AU
(I have so little to show in terms of writing for this year, when "get something into a shareable state" was one of the main things I wanted to do! If I start working on this thing now, maybe I can actually have it in a completed state by the time the actual holidays roll around.)

Goals for July and beyond:
- finish the first draft of the original WIP
- get the second iddy fic outlined
- do the Worldhopping Fairytale Monstrosity outline and plan
- figure out some fanfiction to work on (and eventually post)

My biggest barrier for writing still feels like time. We've been busy, and have actually done things on many of my days off, which is a good thing! But I feel like it leaves me with less free time for things like writing. I've also had strings of days where I can't stay awake after work/non-workday activities, and I end up spending a couple hours napping.

I also feel like I'm lying to myself when I say "as soon as I'm caught up on everything else..." because frankly, I'm never caught up on everything else, lol. Not for any length of time, anyway. Honestly, what little writing I did last month did happen during one of the more hectic weeks. I realize it's a matter of making myself do it even when I've got other things going on... but I also find it really stressful and not conducive to writing when I feel like doing it is making me fall farther behind on other things, so it's a struggle.

I'm at a loss for where to find extra time and energy... Avoiding the persistent napping would be a help, but I can't force myself to stay awake on the days where it's particularly bad. I haven't been as good lately about avoiding the doomscroll... I try to catch myself when I'm just fruitlessly switching between apps, but sometimes I let way too much time go by before I realize that I'm not having a good time, haha. Trying to be mindful on that would probably be good (for multiple reasons.)

We'll see how this month goes!

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: my apartment
Current Music: Not what I wanted - Solar Fake

mistressofmuses

On Tuesday, in part for late Mother's day and in part for early birthday, we wanted to take my mom to the Denver Botanic Gardens. We planned ahead for a day when she would be back from her New Mexico trip, and that she and Taylor could both take the day off from work.

Unfortunately, this wound up being the *one* day that was forecast to be chilly and rainy all day. (We've had rain basically every day for a bit now, but most days it's only for a little while. Tuesday was going to be overcast and drizzly basically the whole time!)

Mom still wanted to go for it, and was glad for the cooler temperatures, rather than walking around on a hot day. (And I was glad for that, especially for Taylor; last year we went and they wound up overheated and miserable, and had to head back to the car early.) Even so, I was a little apprehensive, because I loathe being cold, and I was afraid the cold rain would make it hard to appreciate anything about the day.

I was pleasantly surprised! It wound up being lovely. It did get uncomfortably cold a couple of times, but for the most part it was nice enough with a jacket. The initial drizzle let up within maybe half an hour, and minus another quick rain shower, it was just cloudy. While I prefer sun, the clouds did mean I didn't get sunburn. It was also nice for pictures - easier to get fairly accurate colors without direct sunlight.

And I took way too many pictures, lol. Even when I was trying to narrow it down very significantly, I think I kept... 70? So this will be split into several posts! Sometimes I try to split the posts into "themes" or something, but this time I think I'll just go for chronological through the gardens.

Hope you like pictures of ~water droplets on flowers~ lol.

One of the most dramatic in terms of water droplets!

Kind of an odd one, but I loved the way the water had collected on the seedpod inside this poppy.

This rose is so perfectly classic it looks fake. :)

Fourteen more pictures:

We waited at the entrance for a bit while we figured out our plan for the day.

There are some wonderfully tall yucca. There was also a very loud sparrow! I'm guessing they have nests within the yucca, which is probably the safest imaginable place.

Water droplets on poppy leaves.

In some of the gardens at the front:

I do like the way the water droplets look like little glass beads.

Then the "perennial walk" and a plaza:

Delightfully goth irises.

A ladybug pupa on a rose.

So ruffly!

Very classic rose!

A hummingbird, perched up high.

On the other side of the plaza is The Ellipse, the gardens around the Chihuly sculpture and in front of one of their admin buildings.

The columbines were having an absolute banner year this year! I don't know that I've ever seen quite so many doing so well.

Nice irises.

I like the burnt orange color.

And some lovely lupines!

And some two-toned ones! Plus the admin building (a beautiful converted house) in the background.

(Today was mom's actual birthday! I did stop by to see her briefly after work. I gifted her Overgrowth and the last six months of short stories from Seanan McGuire's patreon. I'm planning on getting some garden plants for her once I have a chance!)

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: my apartment
Current Music: Lights Out (Ready to Go) - Aesthetic Perfection

mistressofmuses

This week, the Baba Yaga hut sticker from the "folkgore" pin collection, by Kim Kuzuri and Aspenhearted. My teal pen died, but the metallic green almost worked!

This was a fairly good week, but a busy one. Time spent with Taylor at the beginning of the week was good. Though as busy as the week felt, I didn't really get very much done. Maybe it was just that work felt like a lot. The concert later in the week was great, and I was very glad we went. Feeling some pressure over how much I have going on next week and how much I also feel like I need to catch up from this week... Not sure when I'll have a good chance to, but I'll try to do more.

Goals for the week:

I did get together with Taylor from Sunday - Tuesday
We went to our concert on Thursday
I did not finish the third snowflake exercise
I did finish reading Overgrowth
I did not cancel my dentist appointment
I did not go to the bank
I did do the June tracking grids
I did not put my laundry away
I did not finish my May book reviews
I did go get crickets for Berry Mad

Tracked habits:

Work - 5/7
Household Maintenance - 3/7
Physical Activity - 2/7
Wrote 500/1000+ Words - 0/7
Wrote on 2nd+ Draft - 0/7
Meta Work - 4/7
Personal Writing - 2/7
Other Creative Things - 0/7
Reading - 6/7 - mostly on Overgrowth, but also a good chunk of Installment Immortality with Taylor, a little bit of Duma Key with Alex, and a little bit of my ebook side read
Attention to Media - 6/7 - Sunday listened to some youtube and music in the background at work, listened to a Re: Dracula episode and then more music; Monday a very short Re: Dracula and more music; Tuesday, listened to music early and later abandoned place videos; Wednesday had storm chasing in the background and another Re: Dracula, plus music; Friday we finished the last two episodes of The Handmaid's Tale; Saturday a Re: Dracula episode and some paranormal videos in the background.
Video Games - 2/7 - Taylor and I played some more Final Fantasy XIV. We played through the second and third parts of the YoRHa: Dark Apocalypse raids (the Nier crossover), finished the Dark Knight and Red Mage job quests, then another extra quest for the general class quests, then the Sorrow of Werlyt trials. Finally next time we can do the next part of Shadowbringers!
Social Interaction - 4/7

Total words written: 0

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: my apartment

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Reading

Last Tuesday: Denver Botanic Gardens (Part 4, the last part)

Last Friday: Aesthetic Perfection, genCAB, and Whorticulture

Last Tuesday: Denver Botanic Gardens (Part 3)

Habit Tracking: Week 22 (June 01 - June 07)

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RIP Cyanide, 01/01/2010(?) - 06/09/2025

Last Tuesday: Denver Botanic Gardens (Part 2)

Star Trek Tackling Responsible Birth Control in 1969

Writing Goals/Calendar: June 2025

Tuesday: Denver Botanic Gardens (Part 1)

Habit Tracking: Week 21 (May 25 - May 31)

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