Events

I was talking with some folks a while back about how I have to get the bathroom in my house redone. There’s no actual tile in the bath, just some kind of plastic molded shit, and it’s starting to bow out in the tub. I’m only slightly terrified of what kind of rotten mess is behind that.

But, as a joke, what I want to do when I DO get the wall redone is seal in a fake baby skeleton in a christening gown.

I’ve done some pricing on this and a half-way decent looking fake baby skeleton costs roughly $600, but only $300 if it has two heads. This led to a debate on if I should put one tiny gold cross necklace on it or two and that led to a debate on where the soul resides and how many souls a two-headed baby would have.

After a while, I also decided that when I finally get the kitchen redone (similar tile situation there, but sans bowing), I should entomb a really nice bottle of wine with a note, “I’m sorry about the baby.”

What makes this really funny is, if you watch those house remodeling shows, they always do the kitchen first.

Now, add to all this, I recently inherited an old trunk. I had long ago joked about putting a trunk in the corner of my attic containing a skeleton in a wedding dress. Hell, there’s Christmas carols about shit like that.

I’d also like to point out I’m the second owner of my house. My house was built in 1930 and the previous owner was a very tall woman who I suspect died in the house.

Another thing about my house is the chimney was capped god knows when and the fireplace converted to gas. Someday, I’d like to turn it back into a proper wood-burning fireplace.

And then, the other day, while looking for something else, I stumbled on this Wikipedia article about dried cat. Not what I expected to find, but kinda interesting on its own.

So. That’s the setup. Yesterday at work, starting thinking about a story. Might make a fun little 30-minute film.

( Go on. )