(no subject)

Session Start (Yahoo! - phil_bishop2002:anyla_walker): Tue Apr 01 12:28:44 2003
anyla_walker: yay!
phil_bishop2002: yay indeed
phil_bishop2002: well, here I go... into the wild web wonder... again...
anyla_walker: ?
phil_bishop2002: live journal, chat... the stuff I was addicted to sooo long ago...
anyla_walker: Ahh...welcome back to the dark side
phil_bishop2002: yes, yes it is the dark side...
anyla_walker: :)
phil_bishop2002: (Link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/asmoduce)http://www.livejournal.com/users/asmoduce
phil_bishop2002: wow... I feel like I am 17 again...
phil_bishop2002: no... I never felt like this at 17...]
phil_bishop2002: hell, I have NEVER felt like this...
anyla_walker: if it is what you just posted, I've already commented
phil_bishop2002: hahahaha that's what get for not paying attention...
anyla_walker: ;)
anyla_walker: I'm quick on the draw
anyla_walker: and bored at work
phil_bishop2002: good point...
anyla_walker: We stole your wife last night, was fun
phil_bishop2002: I just want to know when I became a coward...
phil_bishop2002: I didn't hear about that? you girls have fun?
anyla_walker: eh...drove to McKinney and back
anyla_walker: you're not a coward hon
phil_bishop2002: yea! the wilds of McKinney!
phil_bishop2002: and I missed it
phil_bishop2002:
anyla_walker: Lol...yea we saw the power was out in the hospitable...that was fun
phil_bishop2002: I didn't know about that... a hospital without power.... weird...
anyla_walker: Yep....I was really glad that my surgery was over with
phil_bishop2002: no shit
phil_bishop2002: ok, I need me some icon work... any suggestions for "Phil" icons???
anyla_walker: *grin* sure...dunno if you would do them
phil_bishop2002: ummmm why wouldn't I????
anyla_walker: All my ideas would be rather x-rated icons
phil_bishop2002: well, that might be a little more than I want to do so far... don't want to get trapped inna sex mode for my journal...
phil_bishop2002: I have done that kind of thing before...
phil_bishop2002: sure sign I am back in web mode, If I go allllllllll sex all the time
anyla_walker: Lol
anyla_walker: Sorry hon, you asked for ideas...those were the first that popped into my mind
phil_bishop2002: same here... don't want to go there tho...
anyla_walker: Ah well...so much for the teeny boppers wet dreams
phil_bishop2002: heh
phil_bishop2002: teenyboppers
phil_bishop2002: all I do with teenyboppers is scare 'em nowadays
anyla_walker: Doubtful
phil_bishop2002: true, first, they would have to notice me...
anyla_walker: Don't know why you keep thinking that they wouldn't notice ya
anyla_walker: *poke* You, sirrah, have not changed that much to be unnoticeable
phil_bishop2002: enough for me to notice...and I notice, then, well, that's all that matters...
phil_bishop2002: low self esteem\image issues will make a person disappear
anyla_walker: *hugs* Preaching to the choir
phil_bishop2002: yup yup... just a wier little demon I fight nowadays
anyla_walker: *hugs* You shouldn't have to
phil_bishop2002: logically I know this...
phil_bishop2002: but, it is not logic that puts a person here
anyla_walker: But it don't make much difference I know
anyla_walker: What I wouldn't give for the girls of VW to do a little worship on you right now
phil_bishop2002: HA!
phil_bishop2002: riiiiiiiight
phil_bishop2002: one of em hates me
phil_bishop2002: another one doesn't have enough brain cells left to remember me
phil_bishop2002: can't find the one I miss the most
anyla_walker: I know hon, but....still it kept most guys banes away back then/....
phil_bishop2002: yup yup, that it did...
phil_bishop2002: one day, I will find my "Little Bit"... and find out if anything I tried to teach her stuck...
phil_bishop2002: wow, this was a mistake...
anyla_walker: Hope it did
phil_bishop2002: ok, time to turn off the email me messages option...
phil_bishop2002: live journal updates ain't that necessary]
anyla_walker: aww...sure they are
phil_bishop2002: not when they come cramming into my hotmail inbox...
anyla_walker: Makes me read them faster
phil_bishop2002: yeah, I can see that...
anyla_walker: Who hates you?
phil_bishop2002: Hera
anyla_walker: Ah....alright
phil_bishop2002: I was her second... a week after Dorian...
phil_bishop2002: and, well, she wasn't honest about want\skill\experience\needs till after we went horribly wrong...
phil_bishop2002: 'course, I should have paid more attention, but, maybe it was my inner defenses keeping me from letting do things the "right" way...
phil_bishop2002: cause if I did, I never would have gotten away from that crazy chick
anyla_walker: *nod* I remember bits and pieces of that
phil_bishop2002: it was nasty...
phil_bishop2002: the worst part... I made allllll kinds of little dick jokes about her previous lover...
phil_bishop2002: with Dorian in the room
phil_bishop2002: without knowing it was him
anyla_walker: ack...
phil_bishop2002: and Dorian's girlie, now his wife... was in the room as well...
phil_bishop2002: she did not know either...
anyla_walker: Fucked up situation
phil_bishop2002: yup yup!
phil_bishop2002: it was damn ugly...
phil_bishop2002: Fey's brain is GONE...
phil_bishop2002: and, she's married to a goon
anyla_walker: she's married?!
phil_bishop2002: with child...
anyla_walker: I've seen and talked to her a few times, but...
phil_bishop2002: living in BFE...
phil_bishop2002: squirting out hillbilly rug rats
phil_bishop2002: married to a guy, no shit, with a mullet
phil_bishop2002: meet him with her at the church a while back...
anyla_walker: Damnit....wasn't supposed to be that way
phil_bishop2002: I actually wanted to cry]
phil_bishop2002: could care less about most of the rest of em...
phil_bishop2002: Ashley is the one I miss from my life the most...
anyla_walker: *hugs*
phil_bishop2002: thanks
phil_bishop2002: some nights, when I am all alone, I sit on the couch, and get more than a little misty eyed...
phil_bishop2002: the worst part
phil_bishop2002: I could find her
phil_bishop2002: and she would be like KIM... or Fey
anyla_walker: Well...I still have hopes for Kim, don't think I will ever stop trying, but there is no saving Fey
phil_bishop2002: yeah, she is gone
anyla_walker: But it may not be that way hon....she could be better than ya think
phil_bishop2002: hell, she could be the same, and I would forgive it...
anyla_walker: *nod*
phil_bishop2002: be a little hard to take in someone that is old enough to vote now... but, I could handle it...
phil_bishop2002: wait, damn...
phil_bishop2002: old enough to drink now
anyla_walker: We all grew up hon, at least age wise
phil_bishop2002: yeah, doesn't make it easier to comprehend
anyla_walker: No it doesn't....wish it did tho
anyla_walker: Sorry to get you into a conversation like that
phil_bishop2002: no biggie...
phil_bishop2002: want to hear something creepy?
anyla_walker: Sure
phil_bishop2002: the Plymouth's real name is Little Bit...
anyla_walker: Damn hon....
phil_bishop2002: cause of how happy it makes me...
anyla_walker: You loved her a lot, didn't you?
phil_bishop2002: yeah... just couldn't find it in me to make something of it...
phil_bishop2002: for one reason I have always ranted about
phil_bishop2002: not the age difference, but, her age...
phil_bishop2002: we weren't too far apart, but, she was way to young
phil_bishop2002: I couldn't do that to her
phil_bishop2002: I couldn't "trap" her into a relationship, with an older man, before she had a chance to go out and really, really discover herself
anyla_walker: *nod* don't make it hurt any less though
phil_bishop2002: yeah...
phil_bishop2002: I cry a lot about her
anyla_walker: brb, gotta put ram in the computer
phil_bishop2002: see ya
anyla_walker: sorry about that, when the boss says to put ram in the computer....I do so
phil_bishop2002: I don't think any tech would argue that one babe
anyla_walker: :)
anyla_walker: You know I used to be jealous of her?
phil_bishop2002: cause of the attention she got?
anyla_walker: Somewhat yes, but more so because....she was someone I wanted to be badly
phil_bishop2002: little, bouncy, outgoing to a fault, wild child?
anyla_walker: yea
anyla_walker: but I couldn't be that way...so I was just jealous
phil_bishop2002: I can see that...
phil_bishop2002: definitely a study in contrasts
anyla_walker: Yep
phil_bishop2002: that is why you must become
phil_bishop2002: SEX
phil_bishop2002: GODDESS
anyla_walker: I don't know if I can....like I was talking about with Ann yesterday, I lost something along the way, don't know how to get it back
anyla_walker: More than willing to try though
phil_bishop2002: if something goes missing, what better excuse to use to replace it something better?
anyla_walker: *grin* Very true
anyla_walker: Least I would keep my numbers above Kim's
phil_bishop2002: numbers???
anyla_walker: Been a joke for years, we keep track and compare number of erm, partners....used to be a competition then just became a joke between us
phil_bishop2002: ahhh, those numbers...
phil_bishop2002: not a real good reason to become a goddess...
phil_bishop2002: but, they would definitely swing in your "favor"...
anyla_walker: :)
anyla_walker: Not the reason I agreed to it but it doesn't hurt
phil_bishop2002: yup yup
phil_bishop2002: go forward and conquer!
anyla_walker: Lol, the image of a giant me standing in the middle of downtown preening....thanks
phil_bishop2002: 50 foot woman sleeps with Metroplex, news at 10!
anyla_walker: LOL
phil_bishop2002: I really do miss her
phil_bishop2002: I did the right thing
anyla_walker: I know hon, I just don't know where to find her for you or I would
phil_bishop2002: but I regret it... a lot
anyla_walker: *nod* Like I said, the right thing doesn't make it hurt any less
phil_bishop2002: weird thing... Heather knew her...
anyla_walker: Doesn't know where to find her anymore?
phil_bishop2002: had heard allll kinds of stories about me...
phil_bishop2002: naaaaa
phil_bishop2002: not like she would help me track her down now, ya know?
phil_bishop2002: hell, I don't even remember her last name
anyla_walker: Maybe not you....but my plan is going in effect soon so maybe I could try
phil_bishop2002: become best of buds plan?
anyla_walker: Yep....only thing left I can think of
anyla_walker: If what I think is gonna happen I'll be damned if I'll let her do it
phil_bishop2002: to be honest babe... let it go
phil_bishop2002: we tried
phil_bishop2002: Jeremy is old enough, and experienced enough to figure this one out for himself
phil_bishop2002: if he wants to ruin his life, well, it's his life
anyla_walker: Yes he is but....damnit I don't want him hurt cause that hurts a lot on my end
phil_bishop2002: it's a ruff position to take, BUT, we can't be responsible for "The Boy"...
phil_bishop2002: he needs to become The Man
phil_bishop2002: and in my cold little cruel heart...
phil_bishop2002: if he does this, even after what we did that night, so be it
phil_bishop2002: I have almost no respect for him anymore, 'cause of this
phil_bishop2002: that is what let's me be friends and care for people like I do
phil_bishop2002: I respect them for what they are
phil_bishop2002: I can't respect someone his age doing this, and then, falling back like a little hurt puppy...
phil_bishop2002: I expected it at 17, thought it was cute at 20, but now, no more
phil_bishop2002: now, it's life sucks, get a helmet time
anyla_walker: Then what do you think of me hon? I don't do any better then he does.....respect can be a flimsy thing at times
phil_bishop2002: yeah, you really do better than him...
phil_bishop2002: you may not make the "best" choices... but, you make them
phil_bishop2002: he lets life happen to him...
anyla_walker: would it help if I just whined and said I didn't want to see the truth?
phil_bishop2002: help? no... be understandable? yes
anyla_walker: I don't want to see the truth! damnit
phil_bishop2002: I know...
anyla_walker: Used to be good at sticking my head in the ground and not doing it
phil_bishop2002: but, you got older\wiser\experienced...
anyla_walker: stupider in my eyes, life was easier to deal with when I could
phil_bishop2002: easy is not better
anyla_walker: didn't say it was...just easier
anyla_walker: *poke* smile
phil_bishop2002: sorry, was reading some stuff...
anyla_walker: no problem, just making sure you are smiling
phil_bishop2002: oh, most definitely...
phil_bishop2002: a friend popped me some waaaaaaaay off current "topic" stuff...
phil_bishop2002: a write up about "Entropy Warfare"...
anyla_walker: yay
phil_bishop2002: heavy duty military theory stuff
anyla_walker: ack, keep it away
phil_bishop2002: yeah, only something I would get into...
anyla_walker: yea, that's why we love ya though
phil_bishop2002: going to go for lunch... see ya]
Session Close (anyla_walker): Tue Apr 01 14:26:27 2003