Story

Jun. 22nd, 2013 04:13 am
lolotehe: (Haiku/Fact)


If there was ever a theme song for One Woman Army, this would be it.



You know that Becca's Turkish, right? Doctor Rebecca Safiye Tabib?
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
So, I was talking to Dave.

We were talking about what we were working on and he asked about the Vencume and what is their deal, anyway?

This made me think of an article I'd read and I'd talk to to Dan about it. It's something that showed up after I'd decided to cut the second book into characters.

But really, my short-form is better.

Spoilers ahead! Yeah, you can spoil your own story. )
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
I have these scenes I have to remove from the first book because they take place outside of Becca's head. As much as I love them, they can't stay. I'm putting them here for safe-keeping.

What's so hot about those scenes? )

The latest copy of the book is here. I'm ready for an editor or an agent.
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
I realized that there are two scenes I simply have to delete from "White"; both involve Evie in the engine control room. They're the only two sequences in the entire book that are not in Becca's presence, and there's no justification for it.

Also, I think they're kinda weak. If you must, they are the first and last scenes in this radio-play adaptation I did. Sure, that last sequence is very exiting, but I need to work out a better way of handling it.
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
Mmmmmm, I dunno. I'm looking back at at the first book and thinking, yeah. The pilots had yellow eyes, the infantry had orange and the designers had blue eyes. I should change that so the pilots had purple eyes, the infantry had green, and the designers orange eyes.

Looking at it, it means the pilots and infantry will have an easier time integrating with human society. There were only three designers, and two have stuck it out with the Shipping Authority. One wears contacts all the time to cut down the light, so she can have any colored eye she wants. And even then, the designers weren't trichromats, so they have unusual eyes as is.

I have to work on this.

Story Bit

Jan. 10th, 2011 08:22 pm
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
After that, Evie was coming to bed later and later, spending twenty, twenty-eight, and eventually thirty-six hours in her ancillary lab before crawling to bed. She would come in, unresponsive, and shamble to her bed, falling asleep moments after lying down.

Becca went to check up on Evie after a particularly long stint away. The engineer was slumped over her workbench, across papers covered in long, mathematical formulas.

It's an old scene from the first book, but I had to rework some parts. )
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
After that, Evie was coming to bed later and later, spending twenty, twenty-eight, and eventually thirty-six hours in her ancillary lab before crawling to bed. She would come in, unresponsive, and shamble to her bed, falling asleep moments after lying down.

Becca went to check up on Evie after a particularly long stint away. The engineer was slumped over her workbench, across papers covered in long, mathematical formulas.

It's an old scene from the first book, but I had to rework some parts. )

Events

Jan. 3rd, 2011 05:19 pm
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
Laying in bed this morning, listening to the radio, I was half-thinking about a scene I had in my book where a translator is having trouble with some dialog. I had written it with the device stuttering.

Now, as creepy as that would be, and as cool as it might sound, it's not what would happen. The device would either find the closest approximate word or it would ignore the dialog as noise and do nothing. The only reason a translation device would stutter is if there was something wrong with the device itself, not what was being said to it.

So, now I have to re-write that scene. It's not a huge deal, but I'm glad I caught it instead of someone else. I just get to mash up some word salad with the vocabulary the device would use the most often.

This actually helps me, because I then get to show how the translators are usually used, as opposed to the extraordinary circumstances presented in that one scene.
lolotehe: OWA (One Woman Army)
Laying in bed this morning, listening to the radio, I was half-thinking about a scene I had in my book where a translator is having trouble with some dialog. I had written it with the device stuttering.

Now, as creepy as that would be, and as cool as it might sound, it's not what would happen. The device would either find the closest approximate word or it would ignore the dialog as noise and do nothing. The only reason a translation device would stutter is if there was something wrong with the device itself, not what was being said to it.

So, now I have to re-write that scene. It's not a huge deal, but I'm glad I caught it instead of someone else. I just get to mash up some word salad with the vocabulary the device would use the most often.

This actually helps me, because I then get to show how the translators are usually used, as opposed to the extraordinary circumstances presented in that one scene.

Events

Aug. 13th, 2010 12:18 pm
The vanity-press copy of the book came in today. I had one put together for copyright purposes.

Yeah, right. No other reason? )

Quote

Aug. 11th, 2010 02:00 am
Did you come with the name "Peggers" for people from Pegasi-51? If so, can I use it?

--part of a critique I received

My ego is satisfied, but now, I feel oddly protective of this word. I said I'd get back to him on it, but do I have the right to prohibit others from saying it? If I didn't come up with it, why bother asking my permission?

Events

Jun. 20th, 2010 10:37 pm
Dinner with the folks. I brought the salad and the wine, Mom cooked up three huge steaks and we sat and ate that while listening to "Sides of Blue" and Brubeck's "Time Further Out".

After dinner, Dad and I smoke and drink and argue with each other, or just discuss whatever.

Whatever. )

Quote

Jun. 13th, 2010 03:50 am
Play it again, Ms Atwood -- this time for the Book-of-the-Month Club: "Oryx and Crake is a speculative fiction, not a science fiction proper. It contains no intergalactic space travel, no teleportation, no Martians." And one more time: on BBC1 Breakfast News the distinguished author explained that science fiction, as opposed to what she writes, is characterized by "talking squids in outer space."

--more

Damn, Atwood, don't be hatin' on my book... )

Opinion

Mar. 24th, 2010 09:07 pm
So I was reading this article that Dan sent me, and then synchronicity let me read this article, and I got very worried about one of the scenes in the scripts.

Becca has no idea what Evie is talking about. Even when Evie tries to explain it, it's obvious that Becca does not have the background that would allow her to understand it. So I was thinking about when Evie figures it out.

She never explains it to Becca.

Becca is the eyes and ears for the audience. Evie explaining anything to her is Evie explaining to the audience what's going on. But Becca's at a loss, so Evie feels no need to explain anything more to Becca. I guess? I think the scene is important because it helps to establish that level of the relationship, so Becca (and audience) can be kept in the dark a bit. It still makes me nervous.

And it's not skepticism that does that, it's just a lack of education in that field.

What I find the most odd in the book, Becca and Evie have the highest levels of education. I don't know why it was important that the two main characters be a doctor and an engineer, but there it is.

Events

Feb. 23rd, 2010 12:38 am
lolotehe: Events (Events)
Blaaaarg. Dan is reading the scripts right now and pointing out things are are utterly obvious. I was sacrificing common-sense for drama and I need to go back and fix them.

Actually, this is the kind of feedback I've been needing. Someone to say, "this makes no sense" so I can go back and change it or make it make sense.

Events

Feb. 15th, 2010 10:21 pm
La la la. Episode three. It's getting easier, but now that it's in the right format, I can really concentrate on getting the dramatic structure to work. It looks like each episode is about 30 minutes.

The toughest thing about this is converting a very visual story into an audio script. It's going to get harder, I know, because there's going to be a huge number of voices that sound similar. In the book, it's okay because there's a name attached to dialog, but that doesn't work easily when you're just hearing it. Even in a comic, it would be difficult because so many of the characters later on look similar.

Another difficult aspect of this is conveying the action correctly without getting too dependent on the narrator. In listening to some "Blake's Seven" audio plays (in which everyone is Welsh, I swear), there's no narrator at all. I also went back to listen to "The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy" and I don't think the voice of the book really counts. It's a good device to introduce something weird, but the descriptions are generally handled by character dialog. This leads me to believe that the use of a narrator is amateurish at best.

Now, can I change this by using a similar device like a diary? Maybe, but it feels very forced. It's unnatural for someone to think about what they're seeing by describing it, unless they're trying to figure out what it looks like. I'd like to avoid the, "My god! That ship is so huge! And look at the star-shaped rotating sections. There must be at least eleven of them!" It feels forced.

To be honest, I like the narrator as the passive observer. It also bridges the gap between audio play and audio book. I never intended it as an audio play when I first wrote it and it's showing (sadly). I think I'm doing okay on restricting the narrator to the start and end of a scene, but there are times when I need him in the middle of something. All the things being presented are so alien, I can't just get away with a sound. This isn't a 30s crime drama.

It's looking like three scripts for each section of the book. That means fifteen total, but maybe sixteen considering how some of the other sections play out. I'm also seeing the book had a very episodic nature to start, but that might have been how I was writing it. It's so juvenile, really. I think I'm breaking the scripts in the right places (the first one, I KNOW it was the right place) but it's going to get harder. I'm doing an almost direct transcription from the book and it's going to take more than that to make this work.

So! I need three Australians for Captain Wainwright and his two kids. Stella is Greek, but I might be able to fub that if need be. I have my Becca but I'm still looking for an Evie. Evie's going to be the twins, I think, so she gets to work two other voices. The translators and control systems I have covered. Max, Franz, and Gordon will be their own issue. Max is young, Franz is old, so maybe I can get the same actor for both. Cerberus is one voice, just read three different ways (see what I mean about this getting tricky?), so I need a kid or kid voice there. I've got a couple redhead lines in the last script and a blonde line.

If it was easy, everyone would do it.

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